Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Didn't think I would make it this far...

So, as most of you know I got divorced six months ago... yikes!!

Well, now he is getting married to someone else. Double Yikes!

And I haven't been sure how my heart would react.. I will always love him for being the father of my wonderful children, but I do not love him like a wife should or could..

so part of me is super happy for him.. happy he found someone who loves him.. happy he is moving on and happy he is not my problem anymore...

But then there is this other part of me... this part of me hates him.. it wants him to leave me alone forever and never speak to me again.... this part is not very forgiving or caring...

So, what to do when you are fighting to be good and happy for someone you hate in a way... You be good and happy outside I think. You look for reasons in life to be happy. You find wonder in small things and joy in the journey. You never let your kids know that you are angry with him...

And you let go.... You just let go.... because in letting go.. you will regain your own self again... and then the happy side wins and the angry side doesn't...

I wanna ween!!! Nacho libre".....

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