Tuesday, August 21, 2012

All I want is LOVE eternally... with your heart facing me..

As this summer comes to a close and the kids go back to school and the expectation for temperatures to fall into nice ranges, like 70 and such increases.. I reflect a bit on lessons I have learned to get to the place I am at now.. (Which is.. engaged to an amazing and wonderful man who will take me the direction I need to go.) .. I realize that Heavenly Father knows exactly what he is doing!!  I am about to embark on the most exciting and amazing journey of my life with my best friend.. How did this all happen, you may ask???.. well, I will tell you..

I met Sean one brisk morning last August as I was attending my Anatomy & Physiology lab at BSU. It was early.. like 7:30 am.. and I was on the waiting list for the lab, so I wasn't sure where to sit or if I even should sit down. I looked at the sea of young 18 and 19 year olds and found one (really handsome) face that looked like maybe he wasn't 19, luckily the seat across from him was open so I sat in the empty seat. He was nice, said hi and as I was getting frustrated trying to open a package of plastic dividers, I looked over and asked if he would help me.. I think I might have even thrown them in his direction. He opened them and I went on with busying myself before the class started. We went through getting to know you games and looking through a microscope correctly and then we left class, glad to be done. I dropped the class... Fortunately for me, he looked at my name from one of the getting to know you games and emailed me a couple weeks later, something like.. Class isn't the same without you.. for a while we kept running into each other and chance meeting would lead to chatting and chatting lead to lunches and small planned meetings until I finally told him I was dating someone else... then... NOTHING... for 2 months I dated someone else and heard nothing from Sean. No facebook, no emails, no texts.. nothing... I figured he just didn't want to worry about little ol science class girl, so I didn't worry about it tooo much.
      AND THENNNNN... Just after the New Year, I got a text from Sean that simply wished me a happy New Year. I was very surprised and happy to hear from him.. So I texted back and we didn't stop texting for days and days.. We covered so much that had nothing to do with anything and then some important things as well, it was easy to talk to him and even though I was dating a few other people, he stayed in my mind and thoughts all the time.  The night clearest in head was February 2nd. He came to my house for the first time and brought me some daisies, gerbera daisies, and we talked for a while, ended up snuggling in front of a movie and somehow ended up kissing.. It was the sweetest kiss I have ever experienced to this day. I was amazed at how well we connected and wanted to be with him a lot more than every so often, so we started dating...
       I wish I could say we never had a bad moment, but we have had days where we really struggled. We have broken up and gotten back together (usually only for a few hours) and there have been tears and apologies shared from both of us. What I am learning is that those moments brought us closer together and made us more empathetic towards each other. So, I am grateful we went through some rough times together and know that there is a strength that comes from really putting your heart in someone else's hands.
    So this past month has been the worst and best for us. At the beginning of the month we had broken up.  A choice I had felt was best. I had no intention of getting back together because I felt like I was going to just be a single person the rest of my life.. I said things to myself, like, "I am just to set in my ways to get mixed up with anyone" and "life is less complicated without having to worry about someone else all the time"... Yeah... I know.. Stupid selfishness ruled my brain and I wasn't very proud of my actions for the two weeks without Sean in my life.. but then I got a text that said something like this.. Goodbye Jenny.. they are sending me to Vietnam. I freaked out!!  I thought he was suicidal or something and I panicked.. I wrote back "what do you mean?" and he explained to me that he was going to New York to visit his sitser and wanted to say goodbye. The relief that I felt in that moment was enough for me to realize that I wanted to be with this man.. So I asked if we could talk when he got back and we did talk. It was so nice to be with him and smile again.. The real kind of smile that comes from your heart.. That happy feeling of peace when you feel like you are connected at the heart.. and we are definitely connected at the heart.
      He asked me August 16th to be his fiance in front of the Boise Temple (that is currently under construction) and I was so surprised and happy to say that I would.. I love this man with all that I am. I am excited to share a life and eternity with him. We plan to be married on September 22 (yes, next month!!) and then we will be sealed in the temple as soon as we can after that (probably next year) after we are sealed we will have a great big party and celebrate our forever family... I am truly the happiest I have ever been.. Thank you Heavenly Father for my sweetheart, Sean Wilcox, I am truly humbled to have him in my life eternally... with his heart facing me.