No more facebook ..

So, today I deleted my facebook account. I am tired of it taking up so much of my time. I am tired of people being able to know my every thought and action.. I hate looking at the people that I used to love and knowing that they no longer love me.. I just had to let it go... let it go...

decisions...

Life throws a lot my way lately.. I think its great for my growth and development spiritually, but I am exhausted.. I just want life to slow down a little bit so I can take a breath..
When I look back at this year, I cant believe all that I have survived. I am still ok. I still have great, amazing days and I still can get up every morning and have a clean slate to work with that day. What I do with each day is up to me. Good or bad, I did it.. I am so excited for the next year of discovery. I am healthy and I am a valuable person. I wonder what I will change in this world this year..

Oh and PS... womens conference is coming up soon!!!

trying to make the best of a sticky mess...

Well, life sure has a way of turning and turning and turning... churning and churning.. burning and burning.. ha ha ha ha just had to keep the rhymes going...mowing...snowing. Okay, I will stop!!
I had a great trip to my sisters house a little while ago and took a whole bunch of pics, but I am at Brody's right now, so I cant download them, but believe me . I have some to post. (just for you mom)
This year, Disney land is giving away free tickets to their marvelous parks. When my kids and I found out about it, we yelled.. LETS DO IT!!!! so we are giving a day of service for a Disney day at Disneyland!! yay!!And you can too.. just visit disneyparks.com and click on the link..

On my way to ut!! Love the mountains.. Cant wait to see my sisters and friends!! Yay!

life is good again...

I am so excited for spring to come. i love all the flowers and pretty trees.. and the warm warm warmness.... The colors and life beginning again..
I feel like I am beginning again as well. Getting my life to renew again. Helping my children to see the wonders this life has for them.. I have had a very good holiday season and a very happy January. I am hoping that february will be so much fun. I know it is still cold, but the sun is shinning.. and the skies are blue.

My sweet Grandma..

Some days I feel like super mom and some days I feel so helpless. I wonder when I will feel like mediocre mom all the time?? =)

Today I went and cried to my grandma. I sat on the cemetery hill with her for about 15 tear filled moments and looked for any part of me that she has given. Then I remembered something she would do. She would give herself a little time to be sad and then she would pick herself up and say, "thats enough, I am done being sad today". And she was such a good example of strength. She had a very long life... and in that life she was an amazing woman! November is when I miss her the most because that is when she would host Thanksgiving. Not just a paper plate meal that you gorge yourself with, but a magical experience that you made you remember what it was you were thankfull for. China, candles, wonderful smells and great family with you. I miss the whole family being together, but I know she is saying to me... ok be done being sad and get on with the day... so here I go..

the simple life.. where are you??

I had all the intentions of having a simple life.. I work so hard to keep the drama to a minimum and yet somehow I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I am dropping the ball.. so many things are out of my control and there is nothing I can do about it... to get it back in balance..

I love my kids so much and today I was listening to Hillary Weeks (she is my favorite) song... if I only had today... and I started sobbing uncontrollably.. It made me realize how precious they are and at what a tender age this is.. what a tender time this is.. for all of us.. there is a part of the song that says..

I would hold you and listen.. I would let the dishes sit in the sink.. tell you I love you over and over.. and for once I would let the phone ring..

every time that part of the song played.. the sobbing would get crazy.. so I know I need topay more attention to them.. my heart says so..

**new goal for the week.. hold them and listen.. listen to whatever it is they might say.. silly or funny or sad.. just listen and smile and let them know that I love them so much!!.. because I really do...