Sometimes life kicks back...

So, I was starting to feel comfortable and good.. thats when it always happens.. someone or something comes along and crushes you in an instant.. sideswiping you from your blindspot... hurting your heart and not realizing the pain you are feeling... not really caring too much about the hurt you are feeling... and wanting you to just be fine... I am not fine. I cannot be fine if time after time there is no recognition of the pain... sorry, sounds cheap anymore... Just stop hurting me...

Autumn fun..

Today I took sebastian acorn hunting at the park. and we found some fun treasures.. then I took him to the store to find a bowl to put the treasures into, and I found this!! so cool!! I love this new dessert bowl. I am going to try and make something that looks like this... I have been trying to be a yummy cook lately and have really been struggling with textures (because of the gf factor) but I managed to make some yummy things.. like butternut squash with butter and brown sugar

and salt.. so yummy.. and halloween cookies..

out of a box (not gf) and Ellen was able to cook them alone.. she was so proud of herself!!

then we were tuckered out!! so the boys sat around for a while to play computer games before bed... and we got our pjs on and now the house is quiet.. except the tapping of the computer keys..

I am blessed!!

I am feeling so blessed today! I got to see my mom and she gave me a cupcake and watched my son all day!! I got to spend the afternoon with six of the most amazing kids in the universe!! I got to work at the bank and teach Zumba and eat delicious french fries at McDonalds with my awesome friend , James (such a funny picture of him!! ha ha ha!!)

... all in all.. I feel so blessed!!

I am also feeling something else though... tired!! good night!!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Been waiting for this moment for all of my life...

So things are good.. weird huh? I feel good. The kids are doing good. I have been doing more and sitting less.. which is so nice.. I hate to sit and do nothing.. (anyone who knows me knows that)..

Fall is here and again I start to get that urge to cook yummy things... which sometimes can be a challenge for the Gluten sensitive.. But I will embrace this autumn!! I will cook.. I will cozy up with my hot chocolate as I pour through recipes that I want to try and I will be amazing at it!! I am excited to try things that I have been too intimidated to do before.. Christmas cookie plates, beware! Hah haha!!

In looking for a job.. Wells Fargo gave me an opportunity as a teller, so that is another challenge I am facing this fall.. again I will conquer and go far!! (even if Josh and John harass me).. lol!! So far I really enjoy the days where the drawer balances and no one yells at me.. I am way too sensitive the other days.. but my boss told me that I need to get mean and start telling people what I need them to do .. don't ask.. tell them..

Another thing I like about the fall is the sweaters and the rain.. It has been in the 50s and 60s around here.. kinda on the cool side for this Cali girl, but the Idaho girl in me loves it!! I like warm clothes and snuggle blankets.. so nice...

My kids amaze me... with the quirks and the funny comments they come up with daily.. they really are a joy in my life.. I am so grateful that they are in my home as much as they are.. I so love a good snuggle on the couch with Bass and A tickle fight with Aaron and a drive full of questions with Ellen.. It makes me so happy to know that they know that I love them. It is my one place in this world I cannot fail... I will not fail them..

Well, there is my happy blurb.. figured you all deserved a lift after the last blog I wrote! Have a happy Autumn time!!!

Lots of Love to you!!

Word to the wise...

Hi, its me again... I have a very important message to all..

If you are reading my blog for enjoyment and because you love me and are genuinely concerned for my well being... carry on!! I love you!!

If you are reading this blog to try and find out if I willl slander my ex husband or say mean things so you can run back and say.. kim said she hates you... please discontinue reading this blog. I don"t welcome you. Please delete me from your facebook page and do not contact me. I want nothing to do with Drama..

Divorce is hard enough with out people stirring the pot.. don't make it harder!!

It is true that Shawn is a great human being!! I am not here to judge him.. It is not my place.. or yours.. spend your time on more worthwile things.. take up a new hobby... leave me in peace!!

Again.. all you who are just wanting to know how I am.. I Love You!! Carry on!!!

Didn't think I would make it this far...

So, as most of you know I got divorced six months ago... yikes!!

Well, now he is getting married to someone else. Double Yikes!

And I haven't been sure how my heart would react.. I will always love him for being the father of my wonderful children, but I do not love him like a wife should or could..

so part of me is super happy for him.. happy he found someone who loves him.. happy he is moving on and happy he is not my problem anymore...

But then there is this other part of me... this part of me hates him.. it wants him to leave me alone forever and never speak to me again.... this part is not very forgiving or caring...

So, what to do when you are fighting to be good and happy for someone you hate in a way... You be good and happy outside I think. You look for reasons in life to be happy. You find wonder in small things and joy in the journey. You never let your kids know that you are angry with him...

And you let go.... You just let go.... because in letting go.. you will regain your own self again... and then the happy side wins and the angry side doesn't...

I wanna ween!!! Nacho libre".....

Reunion!!!

Well this summer is speeding along and our family reunion was as fun as ever! Due to the high cost of renting some condos for 33 of us.. we opted to camp in mom's backyard. It was a lot of fun, but a little sleep.. mom has a crazy rooster!!! We had a huge waterslide to play on and even got to pose for family pictures!!! Yay!!